Güd wrtr

Make a list:

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

Keep going.

Now close your eyes and absorb all the love of the universe,
even the bits that you don’t think are for you.

They’re for you.

And everything you’ve ever wanted? That’s there for you, too.
Perhaps not in the form you imagined. Expand that vision.
Allow for substitutions, amendments, additions,
maybe for the wonky and weird.

Maybe wrap some white, healing light around it,
or a rainbow or two—any kind of shimmer
that illuminates your soul.

Now release it all; watch it drift away like dandelion fluff.

Everything you’ve ever wanted?

There you go.

Hand watering the day before
the vernal equinox, my flip-flopped
toes splattered with hose spray

after months of cold feet encased
in warm socks and wool slippers—
this is how I know it’s spring.

I love that it’s predicted to hit
90 degrees today, as I try to fan
the warmth eastward, hoping

to heat up chilly friends who
can’t yet imagine this. In my front
yard the yellow daisies bounce

like golden retrievers, and though
I’m regretting having the wisteria
pruned so severely in January,

I stand under the driveway trellis,
counting the lavender clusters
(eight!) purpling the baby leaves

greening overhead. It’s all about
the green, the riot of show-offy
colors the flowers have on display.

The older I get, the giddier I get,
as if I’d never watched nature
do what she so capably does—

no matter the sorrows of the world,
so many of them human-inflicted—
sends spring springing our way,

a perfect balance of day and night,
abundant joy in every blossom,
kindness in the flourishing of green,

the promise of growth dripping
on my toes.

Driving through my neighborhood,
I find myself pulling over to curbs
to step outside on an unseasonably
warm March afternoon, two days

before actual spring, compelled
by the reemergence of colors
long stashed for winter trumpeting,
Look-at-me! look-at-me! So I do,

stopping to photograph poppies
the color of fresh lava preening
by a picturesque fence. But it’s
waves of pink dogwood blossoms

bobbing from a tree on 39th Street
that really get me. She’s a quiet,
unassuming neighbor I’ve been
acquainted with for years,

though at the moment she’s taking
a prima donna turn, showing off
her spring colors before she fades
into green like others around her.

Which is why I like to stop to admire
her now. These blossoms that arrive
arrive early and leave soon in favor
of leaves to come deserve our

admiration, even for a moment.
We all deserve such admiration,
even the most ordinary among us
that some might consider weeds.

Like the little yellow flowers
springing from newly greening
clover, petaled suns beaming
a few inches off the ground.

We don’t need to know their
names to pause and say, “How
bright and cheerful you are.
Thanks for making me smile.”

And if we’re lucky,
when the light is just right,
we might catch them
smiling back.

years ago, now 25 of them,
and for so many of those
I thought what a shame it was
that, as early flowers were raising
their heads and tiny flies and ants
were beginning their work,
when you could see the buds on
winter-bare branches,
you were missing the best part.

But now I think you had it right:
To lift off into mystery when the Earth
you knew was brightening
makes perfect sense,
when surely, you, too,
were heading into light.

As if we have a choice,
which perhaps we do,
though we may not be aware of it,
like the purple-throated lilies
popping up in our backyard,
opening into spring,
their timing always perfect.

•••

In memory of my husband, Clifford Ernest Polland,
who died March 18, 2001, at age 48.

is, apparently, my leprechaun name,
and since we are all Irish
on St. Patrick’s Day,

let it be so. Though I pay tribute
to my actual Irish ancestors
named Keeley,

including my grandpa who could
turn on a brogue with a twist
of the tongue,

and his daughter, my mother,
who happily celebrated each
March 17. I envision the two

of them and other ancestors
jollying in the after, those
on whose shoulders

I stand, who paved the way
for Jolly McNoodles and
my sister, Dreamy O’Doodles,

and all who follow us.

I did not know its name until
I took a photo of the wingéd thing
clinging to the stucco wall near
my front door, and looked it up:

a white-lined sphinx moth,
aka, the hummingbird moth
for the way it hovers. Large
and lovely as some moths
can be, but unmoving.

Not wanting to disturb it, I left
it there until morning when,
as is my habit, I brought kibble
and fresh water to the porch.

Then I ventured a tentative finger
to a lower wing. Not a twitch,
not a flutter. And as this small death
registered, I could not help but
think of the neighbor’s kitty who
faithfully arrived every morning
to see what good stuff he
might graze on.

“It’s always more fun to eat out,”
I’d tell his embarrassed mom.

Hearing me inside the house,
Hercules would rise from his spot
on my doormat, arching his back
into a “Finally!” pose, then, as he
bent to nibble, allowing a gentle
pat down the back of his head.

Years ago, he’d hiss if I tried to
touch him, but he came to allow it,
eventually seeming to tolerate—
if not like—the affection.

Last week, away from home,
when I got the text from his mom
saying that Hercules had died,
I felt that space in my chest
open to accommodate this fresh
grief, knowing that mornings
on the porch would not be the same.

Which is why I have not dislodged
the hummingbird moth. Why I’m
still leaving food—not for the one who
will not come again, but for those
four-footed neighbors who will,

grateful for the visitations,
whether daily or of the moment,
all of them temporary blessings.

We the multitude rising with spring.
—Kim Stafford

Eager for spring, we have leapt
across an hour as the equinox
approaches in five days.

Consumed by so much of humanity’s
turmoil, we cannot help but brighten
under March sunshine,

warmer days and, at the grocery
store, beguiled by long green pencil
stems of yellow-tipped daffodils

begging to be brought home and
put in a pink vase. Look at them:
eager to unfold, golden petal by petal,

a bright tutu circles the first frilly
emerging ballerina. Watch her rise
en pointe, ready to twirl into this

glorious spring, amid soft wind
and birdsong, she and her troupe
of merry dancers joining in,

each nodding and beaming at
their admirers, all of us captivated
by such an exuberant display.

At the end of every day,
the Committee in Charge of Sunsets
sets in motion a sky show

that draws humans to look
west over an ocean to watch
our nearest star slip below

the horizon, periodically with
gorgeous lighting effects—
pinky oranges with beams

angling through clouds or
a simple, cool blue over a
horizontal tangerine ribbon.

For eons we earthlings have
been as mesmerized by the sun’s
temporary departure as by its

reappearance at what we call dawn.
I like to think that the members
of the Sunset Committee

(whose colleagues on the Sunrise
Committee and the Rainbow Coalition
also conjure eye-popping displays)

are modest souls jogging around
the heavens, not expecting or
requiring applause. But when

I have the rare pleasure of
watching the fiery ball seemingly
dip below the horizon,

words of admiration and praise
spring from my lips: “Wow!”
“Excellent work, you guys!”

“A stunner for sure!” Though
I realize that the Committee
may not hear the message—

already launching another
sky show someplace else
in the next moment

and the next and the next.
But as our blue marble
of a planet slowly rotates

away from the light,
peaceful dusk overlaying
sea and sky, I count myself

fortunate to draw breath
and again bear witness to
another everyday miracle.

Let it be on a painterly blue-sky day like
this one under an artistic wash of light clouds,

on a trail that feels like ours, weaving through
pines with periodic peeks of the calm Pacific.

As you lean into a slight rise of soft,
slanting light, I capture an image

I hope to summon the day one of us rises
into mystery, leaving the other with

the sweetness of such an ordinary moment—
which turns out to be extraordinary

when we recognize it as fleeting,
as unbearably precious,

vanishing on a single breath.

(Tidepool watching, Pt. Lobos
State Natural Reserve, Carmel, California)

(for Sue Lester, DVM)

•••

Hermit crabs of various sizes
meander the little crabby highway
of a low-tide pool as I sit and watch

the show on a spring-like afternoon.
I cannot peer in tide pools without
thinking of you, my childhood BFF,

who bequeathed your love of marine
life and taught me the names of
sea creatures and wildflowers

and so much more. So I carry you
with me as I eavesdrop on the shallow
dip of wave-sculpted sandstone

under a few inches of saltwater.
And this dude wearing a light-colored
shell scoots down-pool as a bigger dude

sporting some black-and-silver muscle
heads for the littler guy, and, with one
whopper of a crab leg, upends him,

landing him bottom up, his little legs
waving helplessly as the bully moves on.
All my defenses rise in outrage.

How dare this ruffian shove that littler
guy around? He seemed to be minding
his own business. And, though you

might point out that this is nature
taking its course, before that occurs
to me, my hand reaches into the water

to right the little guy, who, once he
has his little crabby legs under him,
wisely heads in the opposite direction.

How many times as a kid did I witness
such meanness? How often did I stand
up for one being bullied or jeered at?

And how now might I lend a hand
to right someone upended, offer
a sympathetic touch or a kind word?

As you do every day in your work
with animals and their people,
helping them rise again, if possible,

and, if not, lending your gentle voice
and hands to say, sometimes without words,
Good boy. Good girl. I’m sorry. I care.

•••